Pittsburgh Legal Back Talk

Legal topics of interest to lawyers and consumers with a Pittsburgh and Western Pennsylvania focus.

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Posted By Cliff Tuttle | October 8, 2011

No. 732

 Security officers reported seeing a 5 foot alligator in Beaver Run Reservoir about a month ago but didn’t remember to report it.  Big deal, only five feet long anyway.

The manager  of the Westmoreland County Water and Sewer Authority, Chris Somebody, told the press that the Authority wasn’t going to worry about it, since it would just die in the winter.  Problem solved.

Not quite.  The Alligator set up a Facebook page to urge the public to rescue him.  Within two hours, the alligator had 4,000 friends.  It seems that everybody likes alligators.

More recently, a six foot alligator wars spotted walking along the beach.  The Dalai Lama called for the rescue of the Alligator.  Chris Somebody told the press that it would just have to die.  He wasn’t paying security guards, whose job it was to guard the lake, to go looking for an Alligator.

Then, a seven and a half foot alligator was seen chomping on a goose swimming on the lake.

Okay, said Chris Somebody, if anybody wants to rescue an alligator, be my guest. The staff of Pittsburgh Zoo answered the call.  Hundreds of members of the herpetological society joined in the search.

An eleven foot reptile was spotted swimming in the lake with a cat in its jaws.  Alligators don’t grow to be eleven feet long, said a spokesman of the zoo.  It must be a komodo dragon.

A horse was found dead by the lake.  The tooth marks were too large for a komodo dragon, said an expert from Carnegie Museum, who joined the hunt.  It must be a fifteen foot tyrannosaurus rex, said the expert.

Then it was sighted again by a group of movie producers, researching a possible film script.  It was Godzilla, they all concurred and it had left the lake and was heading northeast toward Cleveland.




CLIFF TUTTLE has been a Pennsylvania lawyer for over 45 years and (inter alia) is a real estate litigator and legal writer. The posts in this blog are intended to provide general information about legal topics of interest to lawyers and consumers with a Pittsburgh and Western Pennsylvania focus. However, this information does not constitute legal advice and there is no lawyer-client relationship created when you read this blog. You are encouraged to leave comments but be aware that posted comments can be read by others. If you wish to contact me in privacy, please use the Contact Form located immediately below this message. I will reply promptly and in strict confidence.

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