Pittsburgh Legal Back Talk

Legal topics of interest to lawyers and consumers with a Pittsburgh and Western Pennsylvania focus.

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Who Needs Librarians? Off With Their Heads!

Posted By Cliff Tuttle | September 16, 2009

Posted by Cliff Tuttle (c) 2009

SUMMARY: There are untried solutions to the Pennsylvania state budget conundrum.

AND NOW, the lack of a budget in Pennsylvania has caused the public libraries in Philadelphia to announce that they will soon close.

Wow, there’s an idea! Most grownups never go to the library anyway. So lets shut ’em down. Sell the books. We can all use the internet instead. And the buildings, with all those shelves, could be rented as warehouse space or turned into liquor stores.

Then there’s the problem of subsidized child care. Child care organizations that depend on state funding are closing, too. But, with a little creativity, this doesn’t have to happen. Just replace laid off child care workers with National Guardsmen, preferably young fathers and mothers with child care experience. Or draft laid-off child care workers into the National Guard. Either way, its a win-win proposition.

Don’t fret. The Federal Government pays most of that cost, especially if the Governor declares a child care state of emergency. The beautiful part is that these federalized parents could take their own children to work every day at no additional cost. The Guardsmen could also teach the little urchins to do a few useful tasks at the armory — like rotating tires on trucks at the motor pool, cleaning the grease trap at the mess hall and oiling the M16’s in the gun rack.

At some point, these and other creative economies will exceed the projected deficit and the legislature can pass a black ink budget. Then, safe in the knowledge that a tax increase has been averted, we can all go down to the casino and enjoy a little well-earned recreation.



CLIFF TUTTLE has been a Pennsylvania lawyer for over 45 years and (inter alia) is a real estate litigator and legal writer. The posts in this blog are intended to provide general information about legal topics of interest to lawyers and consumers with a Pittsburgh and Western Pennsylvania focus. However, this information does not constitute legal advice and there is no lawyer-client relationship created when you read this blog. You are encouraged to leave comments but be aware that posted comments can be read by others. If you wish to contact me in privacy, please use the Contact Form located immediately below this message. I will reply promptly and in strict confidence.

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